Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
