i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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