Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
