I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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