I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I'm having to shit out rocks
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