Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
