so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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