if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
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