he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
