sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
