Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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