Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
This is the high leading the old right now
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
