I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Randomize
