i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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