He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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