Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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