Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
