Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
she told me i tasted like america
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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