gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
