At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
me + whiskey = a bad person
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
