when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
