remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
