if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
