you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
