I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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