you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
