Nicole vs. Life
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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