Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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