6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
