My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
