i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
