Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
