I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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