She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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