So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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