she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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