Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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