hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
