I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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