I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
