i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
