we have officially lost it.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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