adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
