Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Barsexuality is the new black.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
