Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
