Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
