Christians are straight up FREAKS
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
