East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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