so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
