what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
