Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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