i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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