Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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